A Savoir And A Friend (Open)

“What am I? A prize? A toy to be won at a carnival?” That is what he made her feel like, she shook her head a bit, “No one has taken me anywhere!” And she did yell, her temper was rising and it showed, as she shook her head a bit, “You still have me damn it!” And she wanted him to know that, as she stood up, her temper was flaring, “What part of that do you not understand!? I love you both! BOTH! And here I am killing myself over both of you! Not just him, not just you, BOTH OF YOU! Goddamn it, you’re so damn stubborn you cannot see what is right in front of you!” And she swiped things off of her desk, not caring what broke at this point, she was not trying to manipulate him, she was trying to make him understand, to see… something he refused to see. “Lydia took you from me a long time ago… “ She turned to him, “No. You stay, this is your home… I’m tired of having this conversation with you. You know damn well I don’t lie. I find no use in it.” She moved to the door, but she stopped to give him some food for thought, “If you weren’t my cousin… I firmly believe you’d been my soul mate completely.” She turned her head to glance to him, “Maybe in a way you are… but damn it if you love me at all, you and Derek would give me a fucking break. Because at this rate you’re both killing me in the process of trying to ‘win the prize’. And next time you both may be too late to save me. So you fucking think about that.” With that she did leave the house, she had to get the hell away from both of them.

"Sky, please, calm down. I'm sorry okay?" He wanted to tell her that she was wrong and that he had always been then for her, I mean who was standing in front of her at that moment? Who had just saved her? Who is the one fighting someone she loves although it hurt her just so that she could be safe? How could she not see that!? But he didn't want to fight with her. She left the room and and spoke quietly as she left. "Please come back Sky..." He hoped that she heard him because the last time she left were the worst days of his life and he couldn't take that again. "I love you Sky, just don't leave me again. I can't do it again." He whispered and fell to the ground. It was too late, he was almost positive. He was trying to make her happier but he only made her more upset. He ran his hands down his face, wiping the tears from his cheeks. Honestly, he was almost positive that if she left now, he wouldn't be strong enough to wait for her to come back again. He would just let go.

Of course she heard him, that damn good hearing of hers, as she lifted up her hands to rub them over her face, he could not keep fighting with Derek. It was killing her, because she loved them both so much, she just couldn’t do it. She sighed, turning to walk back into the house, “I love you. I love you both so much… no one is taking me away, Stiles. But you have been pushing me away.” And she came down on the ground with him, “Just … try to forgive each other, please… let the past be the past, so that there is a future.” She was begging him for it, she could not help it, “I just want both of you… need both of you… as selfish as it is and greedy as it is. It is also true… I didn’t ask for this, but I feel like… I lose you or him, I die. So you see, you cannot lose me, because I cannot lose you… “ And she moved to lean over and laid her head in his lap.

Stiles just watched her and frowned. He wasn't going to take the chance of getting into a fight with her anymore. So if he just kept his big mouth closed, everything would be alright. He just sat still and he looked away from her and to the wall. Honestly, he knew that he would never forgive Derek, ever. But if he just avoided him at all costs and never spoke about him again, maybe then Sky would think that he liked Derek. Hopefully she would because he couldn't loose her. Why couldn't she just choose who she wanted to be with more because it was killing him. He understood that she loved them both but he knew that she had to love one of them more, she had to. He wondered who she would choose if it came down to Stiles or Derek in the end. What if Stiles pushed her to the point where she didn't care about him anymore? What would he do then? Having to live his life everyday knowing that Derek had her and he didn't. It sucked just thinking about it. Derek having this much of a hold on her already killed him, he couldn't imagine what that must be like. So he just sighed, "K"

There was no holds, well, that was a lie, they both had a hold on her, it was something she did not understand herself. But she was trying to let Stiles know he had just as much a hold on her as Derek did. She kept her head in his lap, curling up a bit more, she just could not fight anymore, it was making her sick and miserable and in constant pain. She was shuddering right now, and she was trying to hide it as much as possible, as she closed her eyes, just remaining snuggling to Stiles. She couldn’t choose, it would be impossible for her, and it would only hurt her further to have to choose, and she would never choose, as she curled a hand against his knee, squeezing it slightly.

Stiles noticed her shuddering and it made him even more upset because he couldn't stand seeing someone he loved in this much pain because of him. "How can I make it stop?" He needed to know how to help her. If there was any way besides liking Derek, stiles would do it as soon as he could. He just wanted to help her that's all and somehow he always made it worse. So he looked at her with. Frown on his face and ran his hand down her cheek. "You're okay Sky." He said comfortingly, hoping she would stop shuddering. It scared him because sky was the strongest person he knew and if she was breaking that meant everyone would sooner or later.

"No more fighting." It was so soft, but it was the only thing she could think of, she could not handle it anymore, and the craving for drugs was starting again. She knew she couldn't resort to such things, as she kept her eyes closed, she murmured softly, "Just... don't have to like him, just... try to get along, just tolerate him." And that was all she needed, she just could not fight with him anymore, "I can't fight anymore. I can't do it." And she opened her eyes as she continued to snuggle to him, murmuring softly, "Promise never to let go of me..." She wanted him to promise, to promise never to give up on her, because she was not giving up on him either.

Stiles frowned knowing that the things she was asking him were just never going to happen. They couldn't happen. As much as he wanted them too, it would only make things in his life worse so he simply stated. "You have to accept what is. I will not tolerate him even though already seems to tolerate me. I can't do it. I'm sorry but you are going to have to accept that or you're going to loose me. But that won't be my choice, it will be yours. I didn't choose this." He looked away from her and then sighed. "I won't. Not ever. I promise." He kissed her forehead and sighed.

When he said she would have to accept it or lose him, she started feeling sicker at the mere mention of the possibility of losing him. She felt her heart beat quicker, and she knew what was happening, it was a panic attack starting, yes she had them too! He wasn't the only one who had them, as she closed her eyes, she was shuddering a bit more, and she was starting to have trouble breathing, her hand closed against his knee, digging her nails into his knee a bit, she was holding on to him, squeezing, as she tried to control her body.

Stiles groaned a bit because he cousin was hurting him, but he knew something was going on, it wasn't just her being angry at him. He put his hand on her cheek and turned her head so when she opened her eyes, she would see him. "Open your eyes Sky, listen to me. Take a few deep breaths, slowly. It is going to be okay, just please calm down." He ran his hand down her cheek again. "Please, sky. I can help you if you let me. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere okay? I promise."

Skylla could not help it, it was not possible to lose him or Derek. It was not something she was going to allow, not ever! They were BOTH stuck with her, as she felt his hand on her cheek, she tried to calm down, she really did. She opened her eyes and glanced up at him, gasping to breathe, as she nodded a bit, taking a few deep breaths slowly, as she tried to focus on him, and she murmured lightly. "I'd---I'd... I'd never choose to... lose you... never... ever..." She said in between her panicked breathing, as she tried to calm down.

Stiles nodded to her as she spoke and left his hand on her cheek. "I know." That's all he wanted to say in response because that was all that mattered. She just needed to calm down because he wasn't going to leave her, not ever. "Shhh.." He said to her and then took slow deep breaths as if to show her how she needed to do them. "Please just focus on me right now Sky. Not what I said, not Derek or anyone except me right now. Close your eyes now and think about me, take a few breaths and calm down. I know you can do it!" He nodded at her and watched as she gasped for air. "Please."

The young woman did as she was told, she closed her eyes, as she focused on Stiles, on his speaking, on him, thinking about him, she took in deep breaths and let it out. Eventually after a few minutes, the panic attack subsided and she opened her eyes as she laid her head against his lap more, she snuggled to him. She was sniffling a little because it made her very tired, as she murmured lightly, "My Stiles." She said it firmly, claiming his butt, as she closed her eyes and she started to drift to sleep, exhausted extremely.

Stiles sighed of relief as his cousin started to breath normally again and he was so thankful that it worked. It was a good thing that he knew what to do at times like that. When she claimed him he chuckled lightly and kissed her forehead. He wanted to say, 'I wish I could say the same but unfortunately I have to share you.' But he held himself back. "Always." He smiled and as she slowly drifted off. He was glad that she could finally rest, she needed it after that day.