I don't want to die! (Stiles and Nell)

This topic takes place after 'I don't know what to do'


Nell lay flat on her stomach on her bed, her face buried in her pillow, muffling her sobs. Her appointment at the hospital the day before had only proved that the fears she's had over the last weeks were all true. Her headaches, the nosebleeds and her dizziness all made sense now. Her doctor had wanted her to bring her dad along but she insisted on the dowtor-patient confidentiality thing and her father didn't know anything. She'd kept a brave face this morning before he'd left for work but now she just couldn't keep it together anymore. She'd have to go back to chemotherapy and take even more drugs so her pain would at least not be as strong as it would be without the medication. Her father would have to spend more money on her again and everyone at school would watch her with the same look in their eyes as at her old school.

Stiles pulled up to Nell's house because he wanted to check in on her. See how she was doing since their last visit. He got out of his car and knocked on her front door. Again, he was hoping that her father wasn't there because after they met, Stiles was almost positive that Nell's father hated him.

It took Nell a while to hear the knocking on the door through her sobbing. She sniffed and wiped her wet face with the palms of her hands, wondering who could be outside the front door. She checked her face in the mirror next to her bedroom door, fanning some air into her face, but her eyes and cheeks still looked red from crying. She walked down the stairs and took a deep breath before opening the front door just wide enough to stick her head out and look who's there. "Oh...hey Stiles!" she said when she saw her friend, her voice sounding a bit muffled like she had a blocked nose.

Stiles was smiling at first, but the smile faded as he noticed her red cheeks, he realized that she had just been crying. "Hey..." He tilted his head, "Is everything okay?" He frowned as he looked at her. Stiles was worried now, everyone around him had been so hopeless lately and it killed him.

Nell fully opened the door now and forced a smile onto her face. "Yeah...yeah, I'm fine! Just my allergies kicking in!" she lied and ignored the little voice in her head reminding her that she'd promised herself not to lie to Stiles anymore. She didn't want to burden her friend with her problems, he was already worrying enough about his cousin. "You wanna come in?" she asked and stepped aside to let Stiles through.

Stiles nodded at Nell, "Sure." He walked inside and then turned to look at Nell. "So Nell, why don't you tell me what's actually wrong. You don't have to lie to me." He looked at her seriously because he really wanted to know what was going on. he wanted to help her.

Nell had never been a really good liar but it surprised her how quickly saw through her. "Let's..let's go up to my room, okay?" she said with a resigned look on her face and put her right foot down on the first step of the staircase.

Stiles took a breath and nodded to Nell, "Okay.." He was starting to get worried now. There were so many bad things that could have happened and he needed to know. Following her up the staircase, Stiles had a thought. "Is this about Derek?" He asked her.

She was almost at the top of the stairs when she turned her head back to look at Stiles, a frown on her face. "Derek? No...why would this be about him?" she asked, then started walking again and led Stiles into her room, sitting down on her bed.

Stiles shook his head as they walked, "Forget it. So what's wrong?" He finally asked as she sat down. He leaned against her wall and looked over at her, waiting patiently for her answer. He truly hoped it wasn't terrible news. Maybe just something minor that he could help her with.

Nell still wondered why Stiles had asked her about Derek, but decided to let this rest for now. She avoided looking him in the eyes while she was breathing heavier than usual. "I...had an appointment at the hospital yesterday! Got some test results back!" she started and felt new tears swelling up in her eyes. She looked down on her fingers as they were playing around with the corner of her bed linen.

Stiles looked at Nell seeing that she was about to cry and he walked over to her and sat next to her on the bed. "And...." 'Please don't say what I think you are going to.' He said to himself and he bit his lip waiting for the rest. Maybe they were happy tears...

Nell looked at Stiles for a moment, the tears breaking away from her eyelashes now. "I was right all along, Stiles!" she said and leaned her elbow on her legs, burrying her face in her hands. "That damned cancer is back!" she finally said, feeling even more scared now that she'd spoken it out loud.

Stiles frowned as Nell told him that the cancer was back. He was shocked and he didn't know what to say. He had never dealt with anything like this before and he was really worried about her. Nothing came to his head to say so instead of saying anything he just hugged her. He hugged her as tightly as possible and he wasn't going to let go until he knew that she was okay.

Nell held onto Stiles and buried her face into his shoulder. She sobbed until she had no more tears inside her. Her body was still shaking when she pulled away from him, her whole face red and damp from the tears. She was glad that she had somebody to talk to about it since she didn't plan on telling her parents. "I got your shirt all wet!" she said with a shaky laugh when she saw a damp spot on Stiles' shirt.

Stiles chuckled lightly at Nell as he wiped her face gently with his thumb. "Don't worry about it. It'll dry." He smiled sweetly at her and then nodded at her. He wished there was a way that he could tell her how sorry he was, but he knew that he would just make things worse.

Nell chuckled a bit and then pressed her hand to her forehead for a moment as her head was starting to throb again. "Maybe you can come wig-shopping with me when my hair falls out again!" she said and laughed sarcastically.

Stiles chuckled at the girl, "How did you know that I love to go wig shopping? It's my favorite past time." He grinned at the girl trying to make her laugh. "You should see all of the wigs I've gotten. My favorite is the pink hair. I look amazing in it." He chuckled lightly at the thought of himself with long pink hair.

She laughed in between two sniffs of her nose, glad Stiles wasn't too awkward about the situation. "I bet you do!" she said with a nod. "I just hope I can hide this from my dad!" she said thoughtfully after a few minutes of silence.

Stiles nodded at her, "Well, you're going to have to tell him eventually. I mean, he's going to find out. If you want I can help you tell him." He shrugged not knowing if it was a good idea or not seeing as her father hated Stiles.

Nell sighed, feeling her head hurt more and more as she was so stressed. Of course she knew she wouldn't be able to keep this from her dad for very long, what with the medical bills that had to be payed and her hair falling out eventually. "It was just so hard on him the last time! Plus, we don't have that much money, I don't know how he'll do it!" she said and leaned her head against Stiles' shoulder, forgetting how awkward she usually was about touching him.

Stiles looked at her and frowned. "I know you guys can do it. You've done it once, you can do it again. I'll help you as much as i can. I promise you that." He nodded and looked at her reassuringly so that she knew he was being serious.

Nell smiled, happy to have Stiles with her so she didn't have to feel as lost and alone as she did this morning. "Thanks! I don't know what I'd be doing without you!" she said, her head still leaning against his shoulder and she let her hands slide around his arm.

Stiles hook his head at her, It's no problem and i'm sure you would be fine. You did it before without me remember. I'm really not that great." He smiled at her and then looked down at the ground not sure what to say next.

Nell softly bumped her fist into Stiles' arm. "Don't always sell yourself short! You're perfect!" she said laughing and snuggled herself against Stiles' side.