And We're back (Nell & Stiles)

Nell grinned at Stiles and demonstratively snuggled her head against his chest. "You're gonna regret saying that!", she said in a mock-threatening voice and chuckled. She got a bit more serious again, still playing with Stiles' hand, looking at it. "So...where do we go from here?", she asked hoping this wouldn't be too awkward for him.

Stiles laughed a bit at Nell, "Oh I am? No... I don't think so." He grinned and then took a breath, closing his eyes. He opened them once she spoke, he didn't exactly know what to say to her. "Um.... I don't know." He hoped she didn't feel bad, he just didn't know what to say.

Nell nodded thoughtfully, her head still on Stiles' chest. "Weeell..." she said dragging out the word. "You wanna stay just friends or..." she continued and left the rest of the sentence to Stiles' imagination. She knew this question was probably awkward for Stiles, but she really needed to know.

Stiles looked at Nell and moved his shoulders like he was shrugging. He wasn't exactly sure what to tell Nell because he had mixed feelings that he could not explain. He felt like he just needed to talk to someone about this before he did anything. "Lets just, take it slowly.." He didn't want to make her feel bad. Honestly, he really didn't, he was just uncertain and he hoped that she would understand and it wouldn't make her sad. He smiled slightly and ran his hand down her arm.

Nell could hear the hesitation in Stiles' voice and was starting to wonder if he'd just said he liked her to make her feel good. This all seemed very complicated when it shouldn't be. Shouldn't you know whether you liked somebody or not? She didn't have a lot of experience with these things but she'd thought this should be easier. "Sure! But you know I don't have forever!" she said with a grin and looked up to the ceiling

Stiles chuckled a bit and then shook his head. "Maybe not forever but you have a long time.." He was reassuring her that she would get through everything and that she would not be dying any time soon. He was positive of that. I guess he just had faith.

Nell shrugged but hoped Stiles was right. "Maybe I should make a list of all the things I want to do before I die?", she says and wonders what she should write on such a list

Stiles shook his head at Nell. "I think its too early to do that! You have a whole life ahead of you! Why do you doubt yourself so much? I mean you really underestimate what you can accomplish. You're tougher than you think, you should give yourself credit for that." He smiled sweetly.

Nell chuckled. "Stiles, this has nothing to do with me believing in myself! This is cancer we're talking about!", she says and turns her head to look at him. "I need to be realistic and not get my hopes up too high! You might not want to hear this, but I could actually die pretty soon!", she says in a matter-of-fact kind of voice

Stiles shook his head at Nell and then sat up and moved to the edge of his bed. "Don't say that.." He said with a sad tone. "Please, you can't talk like that. You are not going to die anytime soon! Okay?" He turned his head to look at her.

This seemed to be harder for Stiles than Nell had thought. She looked at him with a slightly surprised expression and moved over to the edge of the bed, kneeling down beside him. "Ok! I'll grow up to be an old lady and have many many grandchildren!" she said and chuckled, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Stiles sighed at her and then nodded, "Yes, you will. I don't want to think about anything else happening okay? I can't. It's too hard to think about. Just don't give up on yourself okay. You aren't going to die!" He looked at her seriously and then back down.

Nell's face turned serious as she looked at Stiles, not joking anymore. "I'll do my best, I promise!", she said with a soft smile and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Her phone vibrated and she frowned when she saw who'd sent her a text.

Stiles smiled slightly as Nell kissed his cheek. "Good, that's all I need from you, just your effort because I know you can do it." he sighed and then leaned back on his bed and laid down again. He didn't like thinking about Nell dying. Actually, he hated it! More than anything.

Nell lay back down and snuggled close against Stiles' side and closed her eyes with a soft smile. She linked one arm with Stiles' and lay her other hand on her stomach. "I wish I had a few girlfriends! You know, I've never been to a slumber party!" she says and thinks about the wellness nights she's seen girls having in movies

Stiles shrugged at Nell, "Well, I'm sure you'll have one eventually. Honestly, I don't think that's something you need to do with your life. There are much more important things you can do. Trust me." He nodded and then closed his eyes.

Nell chuckled and looked up to the ceiling. "I know, it's just something random!", she said but still imagined herself in pyjamas with a group of girls, giggling and giving each other face masks. "What kind of things do you mean?", she asked, curious about what he thought was important in life.

Stiles kept his eyes closed and shrugged, "I don't know... just like, love and happiness. You know? That's what's important, but if a slumber party is what makes you happy then be my guest!" He chuckled lightly at himself and then took a deep breath.

Nell shrugged, chuckling softly herself. "There's just a lot of random stuff that's normal for teenager's that I never did!" she said thinking of the things she never got the chance to do when she was younger

Stiles shook his head at Nell and he really just wanted her to stop acting like this was her last day on Earth. Like she would be dying soon. Honestly, he hated it! "Okay, just stop! You have a long time to do those things so don't think about that and just relax for a bit."

Nell knew that Stiles probably didn't want to think about how bad her illness could get but she started to feel a bit weary. She had made peace with the fact that she might not live a long life even though she still felt scared. "Look, I know this isn't easy but I can't just pretend that I'm not sick!", she said with a soft smile and gently put a hand on Stiles' cheek

Stiles shook his head at Nell. "That's not what I'm asking you to do. I know you're sick. As much as I hate it, I know that, but that does not mean that you will die. If you lose hope then you'll lose your life. You can't do that! So just please stop acting like you're going to die soon. I know you won't!" He was serious.

Nell sighed, but she knew that Stiles only wanted to help and be there for her. "Alright alright! I'll try to stay positive and think of stories that I can tell my grandchildren!" she said with a smile and rolled her eyes. Stiles actually seemed pretty stressed out about this, it seemed like he rally didn't like her talking about her illness.

Stiles chuckled lightly at her comment, "See! There you go. That's a lot better, thank you Nell." He took a breath and then looked down at his hand and inspected it to make sure it was getting better now. It still hurt but it looked fine so whatever.

Nell smiled softly and was still surprised that Stiles took this whole situation so hard. She knew they were good friends and all but still, they hadn't known each other for that long. Back at home, a few of her friends had organised fund raising events like a bake sale for her and her family. Nell had appreciated their help but she didn't really like all the attention.
"You haven't told Allison or Scott or any of the others about my illness, have you?", she asked and wondered how she was going to explain her regular absence from school once she started her treatment.